My Mythic Exploration

 

 

 

As the felines gently wake me - I lie in bed, looking out the window, searching for the morning light. Standing with a stretch, stepping to the window to catch the break of day.

 

 

 

Settling into my morning journaling, bringing pen to paper, my thoughts, feelings and experiences are brought to my awareness, sensing what the day may bring.

 

 

 

Having experienced an over extended hibernation of deep grieving, followed by cleansing. I once again feel alive, alert and grateful. A transformation, an awakening.

 

 

 

After much movement of exploring choices, I have come full circle. Stronger and Wiser. Examining the path that brought me where I am today. I recognize how it is all intertwined.

 

 

 

The Path that led me here, to this fork in the road.

 

 

 

I wasn’t aware of my gifts until later in life, my fourth decade. And that we are not all blessed with the same gifts. Recently I learned that I am still seen. That my smile embraces and welcomes people.

 

 

 

Being bi-lingual is a bridge. The bridge is from one culture to another. A Shape Shifter. A Social Butter-Fly, bringing people together. Through the Alchemy of the Arts. The ability to express emotion through art. A wicked sense of humor with a laser quick wit. Bringing laughter to those who are open to receive.

 

 

 

Many gifts – Much abundance

 

 

 

When hatred started, my window, my veil. Closed. The dreams stopped, the little man in my pillow became silent. Yet nature the trees and the water still spoke to me.

 

 

 

A blonde beauty, a wild thing, feral. Living between two cultures. There was a brief period in my younger life where I denied my Mexican Heritage, because of the shame I felt. I didn’t understand the prejudice.

 

 

 

As a small child I had make believe friends who were very real for me. I could still walk under the kitchen table with my constant companions during the day. The Monster and the Indian. At night when we all went to Sleep I would speak with the man that lived in my pillow. He would spark my imagination with rich and powerful dreams.

 

 

 

I was very different from my class mates. The ones I compared myself too. Different from the children in the neighborhood. Judged because of our poverty and my Hispanic mom.

 

 

 

I denied and hid my Latin heritage. Especially during my dark period.

 

 

 

From the time I was born until the age of eleven we moved to a different state staying no longer than a year. I was content to play with my invisible friends. My mom was a saint a sage and the most loving woman. The biggest gift she gave me is the gift of laughter.

 

 

 

Still as a young beautiful child new to the North Hollywood area the innocence was lost. Lost in the woods I found my own way, without a mentor or guide. I barely survived on more than one occasion as my gifts were abused and stolen. And yet I did. I will add Survivor to my list of gifts.

 

 

 

My gifts also provided many rewards and the opening of doors, yet still not aware that we are not all gifted with the same or equal gifts. As I matured my gifts became fine tuned and becoming aware. Aware of the power of a woman. I referred to myself as a man eater, at the height of my sensual prowess.

 

 

 

All along, exploring art in its many forms. Growing and Knowing.

 

 

 

How I feel when expressing while painting, the intention the mood in all its various forms and colors. It was lost for some time, the creator/artist alchemist, reluctantly resigning to this fact. That the muse had left.

 

 

 

It was the beginning of another darkness. One more recent. My pieces my artistic pieces became darker and darker. I lost much of my audience and much of my inspiration.

 

 

 

I Am Awakening

 

I Am answering a call that refuses to be silenced

 

I Am no longer willing to be ignored

 

 

 

Finding deeper meaning

 

Resonating with what is

 

Expressing Oneness

 

Rich with Symbolism

 

Deeper meaning

 

Expressing Relating Communicating

 

With a deepness that fills the soul of the viewer

 

 

 

I too have awakened again and again, only to fall back into a black tar pit.

 

 

 

Finding a strong will somehow, somewhere to climb out. Vowing to myself to never again fall into that much self-doubt.

 

 

 

A Vibrant and Resilent, Tess is emerging

 

 

 

Tess, The Artist Spirit